Book 2 Ch 13

Lily is walking home and is more tired than ever, really looking forward to her sleeping medication back at home. While walking, she runs into Nettie Struther, who remembered Lily from Gerty's Girls Club because it was Lily's money that allowed Nettie to recover from her sickness and then be happy and comfortable in her life. Lily realizes the irony that it was Gus's money that saved this woman, but ruined Lily. Lily visits Nettie's apartment and thinks it is really nice and quaint, even if it is small and inexpensive. Nettie talks about how she was supposed to marry rich, but then the rich man didn't want to marry a working class girl so he left and Nettie got sick. After she got better with Lily's donation, she got married to her husband and had a baby. Lily holds Nettie's baby and feels a really strong connection with it. Nettie says that she hoped the baby ends up like Lily - Lily doesn't want that. Lily finally gets home, and looks through what she still has from her old life, such as the dress from the living art party. She receives the check of her portion of Mrs Peniton's wealth, and realizes that it felt like nothing back when she died, but now it was huge. She writes the check for Gus's debt right away so that she can't put it off, and puts it and the check from the will in different envelopes addressed to go where they need to go. She remembers holding the baby and realizes she just wants happiness but all she feels is emptiness. Lily goes to go to sleep, and even though she hasn't slept in a long time, she can't sleep. She had been taking the max dosage of the sleeping medicine, but feels she needs more, so she takes more thinking that the odds of something bad happening were too slim to worry about. She knows that she has to tell Selden something, but as she drifts off, she can't remember what it is.